Walking the Talk

Have you ever told your friends what they need to do to succeed but continue to fail at following your own advice. It’s not easy to succeed with weight loss. Even when we know how to do it. Emotions and bad old habits get in our way. The last few months have been quite the challenge for me. I have no excuses for my lack of focus. I need to work past the emotions I’m struggling with and I need to find that accountability I once had. My last two blog entries really speak to me but that fire inside to make changes seems to burn out by dinner time. I need your prayers. Please pray that I find the focus I once had for being healthy. Please pray that I stop allowing my physical limitations to dictate my weight loss success. This back injury is just another obstacle in my way. God will give me the strength to over come this obstacle. Pray that I continue to “expect a miracle”. My mind has been under attack by my old dark habits and I’m giving in. That scares me more than I can say in words. I’m physically weak and my spirit is broken. Some of you have noticed that I’m not the man I was a few months back. I’ve started to get back into my shell of shame and guilt. I’m not going to hide these feelings I’m struggling with because that’s what fat Kevin (455lbs) did. I’m not willing to put myself or my family back in that dark place. So I must be focused on walking my talk of fitness and health. I “teach” classes each week and as of late Kirsten has honestly picked up my slack. I feel like a hypocrite. Pray that I find a renewed sense of urgency. I used to push myself , I want to push myself again. Not so much physically , but mentally. I need to be in this. Most days I’d rather satiate with food. I suppose I’ve struggle with balance my entire life. Either I do something to the extreme or not at all. In weight loss extreme is important, especially when you weigh 455lbs and you need to become healthy. It is a time game. You need to become health while your willing or your mind will get cloudy and you will lose focus. You know what I’m talking about. In a way weight loss can become just as addictive as eating the food. When your losing and the weight is dropping off its motivation to push yourself. Especially those of us who are extreme individuals. I had taken the physical fitness to the extreme and I relied on it to maintain my weight loss. Once that was taken away due to my back injury I started gaining weight again. I need to find balance and just pursue health as best I can. I may not be able to drop weight as I once did but perhaps God’s letting me learn how to live in a life less extreme.
Walking the Talk: Today I will begin posting my weight ,daily, on the right side of my Consumed by the Call Blog page. I‘m seeking some accountability here. I need it. Please take a look once and awhile and let me know that you’re watching me and my progress. I’m also going to start sending my journals to my group leader Diane. She hasn’t seen a journal from me in some time (over a year).
I’m not making any promises other than, I haven’t given up. People ask me all the time how I’m doing with my weight loss. If I was being totally forthright I would have told them “not good, I’m gaining weight” but I’ve had the same response for the last 3 plus years. I say and will continue to say, “I’m working on it”.

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